Rumors Spread About Hostile Takeover of Zimmerman's Pet Project: SYNERGY
LONDON, UK - Reports are indicating a huge announcement tomorrow from Chester Chesterfield regarding his intention to buy a majority stake in fellow billionaire Anton Zimmerman's company: SYNERGY. (Disclosure: Chesterfield owns CNN and all affiliated news outlets.)
Long seen as industry rivals, Zimmerman was allegedly about to announce a revolutionary new vehicle: fully AI operated, and powered by water, no gasoline. Chesterfield is said to be putting in an initial purchase tonight at 10 PM, and effective tomorrow, will own Zimmerman's company.
Zimmerman has been in the news recently for his many public outbursts and theatrics, from dating Britney Spears to sending the first astronaut into space to land on the moon in years. He is said to be struggling financially as he spreads himself thin from his aerospace investments.
When catching wind of this news, Russian oil tycoon Victoria Petrov had this to say when asked for comment: "I zink dees is bud. Bud news for ze oil. Bud news for Russia. Bud for all. Water no is sustainable. Oil is future. Zis can't be happening to me. I must act!"
Here is a look at the prototype that leaked earlier today: