Graham Wins Big in Knockout Fight with Russell
AUSTIN, TX - Lawsom Graham had a big night in Vegas last night. In a stunning 1 round KO, Graham defeated his longtime rival Mike Russell in a swift few punches. "It was like I barely even made contact with him and he was out. I guess we know who the real champion is here," Lawsom said. The payouts for this matchup were extraordinary. For his part, Graham walked with a way with over 7 million dollars. "That kind of pay? Growing up poor, I assumed I'd never see it. Now? Ha! If


Rumors Spread About Hostile Takeover of Zimmerman's Pet Project: SYNERGY
LONDON, UK - Reports are indicating a huge announcement tomorrow from Chester Chesterfield regarding his intention to buy a majority stake in fellow billionaire Anton Zimmerman's company: SYNERGY. (Disclosure: Chesterfield owns CNN and all affiliated news outlets.) Long seen as industry rivals, Zimmerman was allegedly about to announce a revolutionary new vehicle: fully AI operated, and powered by water, no gasoline. Chesterfield is said to be putting in an initial purchase t


Drag Queen Comes...Out? As Straight Woman
NEW YORK, NY - In a recent Twitter thread, world famous drag queen Katyia Dikov revealed they have been living a lie for years. Posted at 3a.m. in a lightning clip, Dikov said they were actually not a gay man in drag, but a straight woman, pretending to be a gay man for greater acceptance and success in the drag community. This grand deception had been carried on for years and years, they explained. More information as details come. See the full Twitter thread below:

Tennis Bad Boy Ansel McDermott Steps Away from Game
LOS ANGELES, CA - Today, rising star and notorious party animal Ansel McDermott shocked the tennis world by announcing he would no longer be pursuing a professional career on the courts. Instead, in a hard pivot, he will now be embracing his wild, drug-addled, bad boy persona into a career in a different arena altogether: hip-hop. In a series of Tik Tok videos, Ansel addressed the rumors by announcing his sudden retirement, mere weeks before Wimbeldon, all in apparent freesty


Why I'm Stepping Down VOLUNTARILY As C.E.O.
An Open Letter to the Board from CEO Adrianna Draper Members of the Board and Our Millions of Viewers: Hello. My name is Adrianna Draper, and for years I have served as Chief Executive Officer for the Cheetah News Network, the most trusted name in news. Though I initially embraced the position with the same fervor and enthusiasm I tackle all of my passions, over time, I began to have my eyes slowly opened to the rot at the core of this entire enterprise. And that rot, I must


BREAKING: Blaze Symons Announces Retirement from Acting
Following his shocking Oscar loss for "Chester's Folly," Symons reflects on a career in cinema and what's next for the chameleon-like actor.

